Sunday, November 21, 2010

Me again!

So dreams are dreams. Are they something we long for, something we havent dealt with, or simply a dream? Mine have been haunting. Not at all scary but painful. Recurring dreams of being pregnant. I am so happy and glowing and buying clothes and feeling the baby move and everything seems right in the world. Then I wake up. Empty, without a uterus. No chance of ever feeling a baby move again. I shake it off and go about my day, a trip to the grocery store where it seems that every woman there is pregnant. Sit down and try not to think about it and on Facebook there are the beautiful belly pics and the statuses of those happy moms to be gushing about the movements, the preparation all the wonders that goes along with pregnancy. I have three wonderful healthy children. How dare I even feel this way. I have been blessed. Then why do I go to sleep each night and have the same dreams only to wake up feeling that empty feeling over and over?
How do you deal with something like this. I cant talk to anyone about it, they all say, you have three kids, its too late now. So what to do.......suck it up I guess.

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