I had a hysterectomy on the 8th of October and I have been a disaster since. I am soooooo upset that my blood pressure has risen from the nice good # I had come to love. I was comfortable, not on meds, and not anxious!!!! Well worrying about complications and the surgery itself has driven me to the brink again. I spend hours looking up info on abscesses, clots, high blood pressure, why my BP is higher in one arm than the other, and the list goes on. I have had to up my anxiety meds and a BP med but one that is suppose to help with anxiety more so than BP. I NEED to see my normal BP again, I need to be recovered and not have complications on my mind 24/7. I dont know how to get back to being that peaceful somewhat calm person I was a month ago. I was going to the gym and it helped me alot. Having to sit around waiting to recover is making things worse. I have no outlet, I am bored and stir crazy and SCARED. The kids and Steve are not home most of the day so I sleep because I hate feeling so alone.
I feel alone, lost, scared and so many more emotions, I kept my ovaries with the surgery which I am super grateful for but yet I still wonder if my hormones are alittle messed up from the surgery and increasing the anxiety as well. I miss having others that feel the same to chat with. I need someone who understands and just doesnt brush me off and tell me not to worry.
Top things off, everyone is sick. No one at home so far, knock on wood. But there are so many at school and friends of my daughter that are sick with things constantly. I hate this time of the year and it seems like this is going to be a bad year for the colds etc. Too much to worry about, I want to just go back to the summer on the beach and loving life and the fun and no worries!!!!!!!!!
