Again I have slacked on this blog!
Made it through Christmas, wasnt as horrible as I was expecting. Kids were happy and thats what matters the most. the depression from being laid off and being completely broke for the past month of so has been awful. Sleeping pattern is all messed up. I am staying up way to late and sleeping in. No energy, and havent been to the gym. We were taking the kids swimming daily at the Y but we hit a cold spell and the were freezing afterwards. My anxiety was up this week and last. My old boss emailed me and wanted me to do a bunch of work even though I am not on his pay roll. typically I did it. UGH. The second I get an email from him my mood changes. he treats me like his slave. Good news is I found another job! At a popular winery/vineyard! It doesnt start till March but atleast I got it. I was anxious before the interview. I really just wanted things to go back to the way they were last summer. Working with Steve and Madison. Boss not being a jerk. It was good times. Now I have to work without Steve. Which is normal but since we have spent so much time together typically I have built up a co-dependency. Boo to that.
I really really want to get back to an exercise and healthy diet routine as I know I would feel better. But its getting into the groove of it. I get so depressed in the winter. I dont even open my blinds. I hate the dark dreary snow. I need the sun back. I go for tans and I always feel better afterwards. Might be a vitamin D thing.
Steve is depressed too I think. He hasnt been the same. He is getting lots of headaches and has zero ambition as well. Its not like him to be so down. He finds out on Monday about a job and I am hoping that might help. Poor kids have two bummed out parents. I do everything to make sure they dont notice anything. Still play with them all fun and happy and show them only happy spirits. Madison has been doing modeling. She has an amazing gift. Her pictures and look is fabulous! Raelynn has done a shoot with her as well. I have two very photogenic daughters. Kaden isnt a fan of the camera much like mommy and daddy. He has become an amazing swimmer, Quite a daredevil and his talked has improved soooooo much!
So its just going to take a good kick in the ass for me to get motivated and start working to feel better. No more poor me. I can do it. I have to do it.