Back on track

Things are getting back on track!!!
I am back at the gym and loving every second. We take the kids swimming every day for atleast 2 hours and its so good for all of us. It tires them out and helps them sleep better and it is a really fun family thing. Then Steve and I head back to the gym around 8-10pm and work our butts off. I am actually sleeping better at night than i have in years. I feel strong and healthier.

I got the results of the ultrasound on my legs and it was 100% negative for any DVT's in my legs!!! YAY

I have also completely weaned off one med, and am working slowly on another and then one more after that. The gym keeps my anxiety in check so well.

So I am due to try yet again to have my wisdom teeth out on the 9th. Truth be told I am petrified. Not about pain or any of that but about being in the "twlight" state. Whenever I have used gas before I panic. I do not like the feeling at all and I start to freak out. They use gas and then something in an IV that doesnt put you fully out. I am sooo scared to feel that way. Steve had his done and I saw how he was and he was soooo dopey and almost high and I HATE that. I just need to realize that I have been through alot worse and get it over with,

Then I have an MRI at the end of Feb. I am not really too nervous about it. I hope that it turns out my twitches and super reflexes are just benign. My hand tremors are getting alittle worse but they say it will happen with age. Oh the joys of aging!!! LOL

Then my foot surgery is on March 4th. Not worried about the surgery, alittle worried about the pain because the last time I had surgery on it I woke up in alot of pain and the surgery wasnt as extensive as this one. I have  already talked to the personal trainers at the gym and we are working out a plan so I can still use almost all of the equipment, or atleast waist and up!! LOL They have hand pedal bikes for the cardio and since it is a boot cast I can take it off and swim once the stitches are out.

After sugery thats it!!! I am done., no more docs, surgeries, or anything! DONE!!! LOL
It is no fun having a hysterectomy and foot surgery in 5 mnths. I am getting my abdominals in so much better shape since my hysterectomy though and for the first time in years my iron levels are normal. So it was a good idea to have it. It is still hard to read about people TTC'ing and having babies but I have three gorgeous babies and that is nothing to be upset about. They are my everything.

Well 2010 so far.................

I had a good Christmas with my husband and children but had a huge falling out on Christmas day with my mom and her husband. It got nasty. I spent the day in tears. Same with the New Year. I have been trying to wean off ativan for quite awhile but when I get down to one pill I start having horrible twitches. I have them right now and its keeping me up despite anxiety and sleeping meds. It scares me, I am waiting on an MRI but it will be 1-2 mnths. I was looking forward to starting the New Year getting back to the gym as it helps relieve the anxiety but I bent over to pick something up one evening and had a horrid pain. Couldnt even walk. So after testing it seems as though I have a herniated disk in my back :( So no gym for me yet. Still very paanoid abot blood clots, its my health anxiety obsession at the moment. I check the pulses in my legs and feet several times a day, measure each leg too see if one is at all swollen. I have been to the ER 3 times now and they say I am ok. Then to top off my anxiety a person from when I went to highschool and is 2 mnths younger than me died last week suddenly from a clot that went to his lung. So now my anxiety is much worse. I just want one day where I feel healthy and don worry. Just one and then maybe I can be more positive or atleast less scared