I had a hysterectomy on the 8th of October and I have been a disaster since. I am soooooo upset that my blood pressure has risen from the nice good # I had come to love. I was comfortable, not on meds, and not anxious!!!! Well worrying about complications and the surgery itself has driven me to the brink again. I spend hours looking up info on abscesses, clots, high blood pressure, why my BP is higher in one arm than the other, and the list goes on. I have had to up my anxiety meds and a BP med but one that is suppose to help with anxiety more so than BP. I NEED to see my normal BP again, I need to be recovered and not have complications on my mind 24/7. I dont know how to get back to being that peaceful somewhat calm person I was a month ago. I was going to the gym and it helped me alot. Having to sit around waiting to recover is making things worse. I have no outlet, I am bored and stir crazy and SCARED. The kids and Steve are not home most of the day so I sleep because I hate feeling so alone.
I feel alone, lost, scared and so many more emotions, I kept my ovaries with the surgery which I am super grateful for but yet I still wonder if my hormones are alittle messed up from the surgery and increasing the anxiety as well. I miss having others that feel the same to chat with. I need someone who understands and just doesnt brush me off and tell me not to worry.
Top things off, everyone is sick. No one at home so far, knock on wood. But there are so many at school and friends of my daughter that are sick with things constantly. I hate this time of the year and it seems like this is going to be a bad year for the colds etc. Too much to worry about, I want to just go back to the summer on the beach and loving life and the fun and no worries!!!!!!!!!
1 comment:
Ally, I know you from the no more panic forum. I was there for a while, then decided to give it a go on my own. I have been very sorry to read of your return to your health anxiety once again, but I do truly believe it will only be temporary. Actually, when you really think about it, of course it would return once again. So, in that sense, it is actually a "normal" reaction for you. That's an odd way of looking at it, but accurate. As for your blood pressure, I was always fixated on my BP as well. Once again, due to the state that you find yourself it, you are going to have widely varying readings -- sometimes from one minute to the next. I know all about this, believe me. Now, listen to me, if you were doing really well before your operation, you going to be back to doing well again soon. But I also know that nothing that I say is going to stay with you for any amount of time. You'll read this, feel better for a while, then have a cuff on taking a BP reading in no time. I know. :-) But you should know that you are reacting the way that most of us react. It's "normal" for us. It's unpleasant, we don't like it, but its something we have to try to get through. I'll be reading and following your progress. And I'm looking forward to hearing that you're doing so much better in the future. Maybe not tomorrow, or the next day, or the next week -- but soon. Know that someone very far away is thinking of you (from the USA). I wish you gentle, quiet, peace of mind.
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